Daniel Turns Five!

Our little Daniel has just turned five years old!

On the day he was born, if I only I had had the ability to see into the future and see Daniel at 5 years of age.  All my worries about how his condition would affect his life would have disappeared.  I would see a very active, enthusiastic, funny and clever little boy that inspires me and those that meet him.

Since starting this blog almost five years ago, I have received many messages from new parents who are going through the initial fears, worries and grief after their baby is born with a limb difference thanking me for writing about Daniel's journey.  I hope that this blog post provides even more evidence and hope that their child's disability will not define them.  It won't detract from their lives but add to it.  I think the Paralympic Games in London is a testament to that!

The catchphrase of the London Olympics and Paralympics was "Inspire A Generation".  I think this so relevant for kids born with disabilities to show them that sport is not limited to able body athletes and their disability should not hold them back from being involved.  Last weekend, I looked around the gym at all the kids participating in sport with Daniel and thought, "Wow, he could be the only kid in this room that represents his country in sport".

It is also great seeing disabilities becoming more visible in the media which is such a big influence on our generation.  Yesterday, the boys and I saw a full window display featuring Oscar Pistorius advertising a brand of sunglasses. 

Persons with disabilities are also appearing more in television shows like Switched at Birth which features two hearing impaired teenagers or Glee and Friday Night Lights which feature teenagers in wheelchairs (although in the last two examples, I don't know why they need to be played by able bodies actors).   Kurt Yaeger, a below the knee amputee who campaigns on behalf of disabled actors is starring as a new character on the TV show, Sons of Anarchy.  I like how the actor, Kurt Yaeger, credits the show's creator for "writing a character who has a missing leg but it is not part of his character.  He just happens to have a missing leg."  It would be great to see this more in mainstream media.

Daniel loves sport and drama.  He rarely sits still or stops talking. Speaking honestly, when Daniel was born, I thought that his disability would define his interets and that I would have to encourage him to be interested in activities like art and music because sports (which require physical ability) and drama (which would require a high level of confidence) may not be suitable.  Boy, how wrong was I!  I am not saying that if your child is born with a disability, they will be sports mad or have a high self-esteem. I am saying that your child will be who they are, independent of their disability.  I am sure it contributes to some degree but it does not define them. To quote Oscar Pistorius, "You're not disabled by the disabilities you have.  You are able by the abilities you have".  My son has definitely changed my view on disabilities and I am so excited to be on this journey through life with him as he develops his interests and discovers new ones.


Another major worry I had when Daniel was born was that he would be bullied.  We haven't entered the difficult years yet but from my experiences to date, I think whether Daniel is bullied or not will not necessarily be due to his disability but due to his personality, the resilience he builds up over his early years and the support system he has around him including us as his parents, his brother, his teachers, friends, his family and the community.  The other day, Daniel was laughing about how one of the children in his school class runs funny.  I had to talk to him about whether he would like it if someone laughed about how he runs (which is definitely unique).  When he was born and I was worried about bullying, I never envisaged I would be having this conversation!

I love this quote from Oscar Pistorius when talking about his Mum and his brother and the resilience he built up over his childhood -

My mother said to us in the morning, Carl you put on your shoes, and Oscar you put on your prosthetic legs and that is the last I want to hear about it. I grew up not really thinking I had a disability. I grew up thinking I had different shoes.

Don't get me wrong, there are tough days.  The surgeries to date and the ones ahead of us are painful, long and stressful for Daniel and all of us.  The constant staring and pointing, particularly in Singapore, gets me down some days.  Luckily Daniel is not really bothered by it, whether he doesn't notice or doesn't know any different or doesn't care, I'm not sure. I remember one day when a child was staring at length at Daniel's leg (this is normal, kids are curious). It was made worse by her mother who instead of reminding her child that it is not polite to stare, joined in staring for a good length of time until she realised I was watching her.  But that same afternoon, a Mum came up to me a Daniel's taekwondo lesson and said, "Your son is such an inspiration". Hearing those words definitely outweighed the staring incident earlier.

So, to all those new parents who are just discovered the world of congenital or non-congenital limb differences or other disabilities, your child will inspire you and a generation and its not limited to just those with disabilities.  I hope this blog entry and the photos below go some way to helping you feel positive and excited about the journey ahead.

Shaw's Little League - Mixed sports program (basketball, cricket, golf, volleyball, athletics, baseball, football)

Golf

Athletics

Cricket with the Australian International School Sharks

Taekwondo

Swimming

Here is a video of one of Daniel's swimming lessons.  Daniel can now swim 50 metres freestyle. (Update Jan 2013 - can now swim 250m!)

Before I sign off, for all those PFFD parents, I like to post a picture of Daniel's prosthesis whenever he gets something different.  Daniel's new leg is made completely of plastic including the foot.  It is really light and his mobility has increased significantly. This one also has a hinge at the ankle (as requested by Dr Paley). Here is a picture of it (covered in Ben 10 stickers).

  
Posted By Kristen (Daniel's Mum)